Thursday, June 15, 2006

Q. and A. for Retirees (Thanks, Jude!)

Jude left this in a comment but I thought it was too good to hide away.

Q. and A. for Retirees:

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after s/he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answers: The Never-ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.


Alice said...

I love it, love it, love it ... coz it's soooooo true!

Sue said...

I can't wait till these things are true for us. (We've been retired for ten years now)!!!!

doubleknot said...

He, he, ha, ha, oh my side is hurting - I laughed all the way through your post. Forced to retire on disability all that stuff still applies to me. I think I am going to be 58 this year what is strange is I am catching up with my mother - we compare getting old stories.

jellyhead said...

Val, only 1 week to go!!

Just think of the extra time you'll have to read in the warm sun coming into your living room...ahhhhhh

Lindsay Lobe said...

Ha haa -Those are real gems. an enjoyable read. !! I have given myself 13 months ..... then retirement!! No doubt your excited.

Here are a few random thoughts!

New day soon for Vals holiday
California's beauty a place soon to stay

Beckens a time for her newly fasioned bloom
Retirement soon under the new moon

Train journeys soon to joyfully consume
Library for Val tis new life's journey resumed

Best wishes

DellaB said...

Hi Val,
love your work...

I hope you do not mind, but I have taken the liberty of adding your blog to my blogroll at and posted a little quote to your site. Please let me know if you do mind.

Val said...

Della and Lindsay,
such a flattery: being added to a blogroll and a dedicated poem! Thank you!

Kerri said...

This is true. Enjoy all those Saturdays and that l o n g coffee break :)